Saturday, January 24, 2015

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare, and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Sometimes it's just so difficult to feel the Lord's presence, but when I read about his promise to meet me when I come to him...I feel so comforted and rebuked. Those words...You call, come, pray & I hear...You seek, find. All I have to do is ask...yet I never do. Pride is a major root of much of my sinfulness. I am the most prideful person I know.

Lord strip me of my pride so that I may become more like you and less like me (the fleshly portion, not the God-designed part :D)...but please don't humble me too quickly!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

P2K9 Testimony

http://kcmonline.org/ - testimonies of people who went to China, Japan, Nicaragua, Uganda, India, Philippines

Be blessed by the amazing work of our Father, Our Lord in Heaven.

The before: I went on missions to the Philippines being doubtful of my salvation, disliking my team, lacking a heart for missions, and just wanting to get "it" over with. The only expectation I had was to grow spiritually and suffer. I did not go with the right attitude. I was lost and confused.

Greatest moment/life-changing: The most important thing that happened to me on missions besides attempting to carry out the Great Commission was getting saved. I grew up going to church and believing there was a Jesus, but I had no idea whether I would go to heaven or hell when I died. I was so fearful that Jesus would say to me "I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness" (Matthew 7:23b, ESV). However, God changed my heart on missions on a normal day. I learned that salvation is not about an emotional experience that is like something from Hollywood where I see a light, but it is about faith. On July 19th, 2009 (Day 12 out of 31 of missions), I was saved. I truly believed that Jesus died on the cross for my sins and resurrected. I had faith that Jesus was my Savior and I was one of his chosen few. The verse that Jesus saved me with is this: "Then he brought them out and said, 'Sirs what must I do to be saved? And they said, 'Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household" (Acts 16:30-31).


Major Lessons I learned (in no particular order):
1) From being saved on missions through a simple thirty-minute talk, I learned about the urgency/simplicity of the gospel. "The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few" (Matthew 9:37b). I am praying for the laborers. Only God can save, and I can be used by God to help plant seeds. However, I know that it is all God's work. My team's body worship and skits were below par to this world's standards, but God still used us.

2) Our God is a living and active God that loves me very much and wants to see me grow and change so I can love and worship Him more. He is a jealous God that is furious when I put anything before Him.

3) More than just lip service − I learned about the reality of Jesus and prayer. My team and I saw people get healed. We prayed for the sick and they were healed. The blind came to see. The deaf came to hear. The weak became strong. My team did not need the gift of healing because we believed in the power of Jesus' name. When he was resurrected, He wanted us Christians to heal the sick.

4) I grew in faith. "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). God increased my faith, and I know that I can continue asking Him to increase my faith. It was not just seeing people get healed or come to Christ, but it was also seeing people who were faithful. Manang Chit (the missionary) had so much faith. One of her sons died at a young age. One of her sons has cerebral palsy. Her husband died and left her with five sons. She still loves Him and prays to Him every day. I learned to be faithful and worship Him continually despite struggles and negative emotions.

5) God is so sovereign. He knew I was going to get saved on this trip. He knew what I needed to grow more. He timed this mission trip perfectly. He turned the rain on when we needed for the heat to die down, and he turned the rain off when we needed it to be dry for hiking.



6) Prayer is something that I am blessed with, not what I am obligated to do. It is merely conversation with our Father, our Lord in heaven. Yes it is true that if I ask, I shall receive. Yes it is true that I should pray continually. But what I learned the most about prayer is that it is so powerful and it is not just asking for stuff or complaining about stuff but it is having the privilege to talk to God. He answered my prayers on this trip. When I had struggles with people or events in the Philippines that I could not deal with on my own, he helped me so much.

7) "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will not pass away" (Matthew 24:35). The words of God in the Bible are another privilege that we have been granted. Before the Philippines, I read the bible because it was the Christian thing to do. I read the word now with passion. It is not just a life guide or a normal book, but it is the living words of God. "So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ" (Romans 10:17). Praying + Reading = Growing.

8) "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1). I learned about the New Covenant and how I do not have to change but rather want to change. Grace protects me and forgives me yesterday, today, and forever for my sins. I do not need to force myself to stop doing something such as being bitter, but I can do this because I love Jesus. Sinning breaks God's heart. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come"(2 Corinthians 5:17). I am already holy because of God. Because I learned more about grace, I learned to forgive people on my team despite their flaws and despite their shortcomings.

9) I am nothing without God. I should never rely upon myself or other people. I need to put all my trust in God and have him mold me into a better person. "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28). He relieves me of my burdens, and He is glad to because He is mighty.

10) I am doing the will of God as long as I am an agent for the Kingdom. I do not need to be a pastor or a missionary to live for Him. "And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me" (Matthew 10:38). We are all unworthy of Jesus but he died on the cross for my sins.

11) My heart motive is "Love me," which means I have a chosen circle of people who I love and disregard all others. I learned to reflect a glimpse of God's love for me to others. I learned to love everyone on my team even though I disliked them in the beginning. I learned to love people who were not easy to love because God first loved us.

12) Pride − the root of all sin. I am no better than anyone. I discovered how flawed I was. I realized almost all of my sins. I am such a sinner. I have two major sins − bitterness/short temper and judgment. These are not contents of my personality but sins. All good things come from Jesus and nothing evil comes from Him. I am weak, but He is strong. I am nothing to the world but to Him I am everything. He is my everything. Because I discovered how horrible of a person I was, I love and worship Him all the more.

13) The willingness to struggle is the best way to show love.

Vision?: I do not think I got any specific visions. I just know I want to live my life for Him for the rest of my life, and help other people do that too.

Now what?: My team, the Cabigat (missionary) family, and the country each have a room in my heart. However, God owns the whole house :D. I learned a lot; I grew a lot, but now I am in the process of being sanctified. I need to apply what I have learned. God is my Father, my Potter, my Lover, my Friend, my Savior, my Everything. It was not the team, my team leader, the Philippines, or even myself that changed me. Soli Deo Gloria!

− To God alone be the glory! I live my life for Him. I die to myself and carry the cross. I love Jesus. Thank you Jesus.